August 20, 2008 — Leave a comment

For the last few weeks my HomeGroup has been reading through “The Shack” by William P. Young. So far i can’t decide if i am enjoying it or not. It’s kind of throwing me off… reading a fictional story about God. The things and ideas i love and want to grab on to, i don’t feel i can… and the things i get upset about make me feel stupid cuz it’s “just a story”.

That all being said… i read a part in the book last night that is getting me to think about how i live my life. The Jesus character is talking to the main character, Mack, when Mack asks

“So why do I have so much fear in my life?”

to which Jesus responds

“Because you don’t believe. You don’t know that we love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those fears into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe i am good nor know deep in your heart that i love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don’t know it .”

That’s something i really needed to hear(read). I live with so much fear in my life and frankly, i’m sick of it! It’s almost to the point for me where i think that these “fears” i have are turning in to self fulfilling prophesies… like i am causing them to come true. I want to be done with being paralyzed by fear! I wanna live in love… okay, that sounded kind of corn-ball… but it’s true. I want to live knowing i am completely and totally loved by God and that He he has nothing but good for me. By “good” i don’t mean flowers and birds and all that crap… but that when “bad” things happen He will work it all for good… because He loves me.

Now, all that being said… how i am going to achieve this is as clear as mud to me right now… but i’m gonna try… i WANT to try.